Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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