I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize