I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
