I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Is Oprah even human
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
