it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
