I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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