Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just want nice things and good sex
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
