We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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