is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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