I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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