apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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