You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
