Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
