it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
