I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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