Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
