I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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