We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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