I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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