if i can run in heels then i can drive
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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