I molested 6 butterflies tonight
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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