Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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