I think im going to throw up on grandma
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
