Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize