you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
