I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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