found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
