we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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