if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
