The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize