Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
