I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
this hospital has no fireball
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize