I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
