What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
