So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
