her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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