Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
