just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
