Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize