we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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