I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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