yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
