there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize