some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I didn't notice because vodka
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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