I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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