And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
When are your genitals available?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
