He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
