I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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