these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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