OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I have post one night stand depression
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
