We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize