Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
