One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
