yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize