Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I got inside last night via doggy door
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
