i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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