Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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