Having a random hookup so left but love u
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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