Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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