I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
