so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
