I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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