Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
